A Change of Heart, and Mind
by BecomeOneWithTheShips
Summary: Jimmy and Shrek are in love, they have been for a long time. Their next step is children, but for some reason, Jimmy can't conceive.
1. Problems in Paradise

Jimmy Neutron released a hefty sigh from his singular lung

"What is wrong, honey smooch?" asked Shrek

"I had another miscarriage this morning" replied Jimmy

"Well shart" cockled Shrek

They had been trying for a babby for 666 times, but Jimmy's uterum was too harsh.

It didn't want baby. :^(

"Hey Shrek-chan?" spoke Jimmy

"Yes, m'lady?" the gentle-ogre replied with a tip of the fedora

Jimmy approached his green, swampy man meat, stroking his belly lovingly, with love. Leaning up to his ogre-y ear spout, Jimmy whinnied "Let us adopt"

The ogres massive e-shreksion grew at the thought of children

Not in that way, you perv

"Oh my sweet, large headed boy-child, I would love nothing more than to obtain a child with you."

Shrek leaned down and placed his ogre-y, swampy, slug looking lips upon Jimmy's, tenderly. They were moist.

Sex ensued.

It was sexy, but Jimmy's a kid so I can't write that shit.

Sorry m8 :^)


	2. Here come the babes

Shrek and Jimmy approached the adoption center. It was large, and probably in charge.

"Shrek, honey…" Jimmy said, grasping his lover's hand in his.

"Yes, m'dear?" Shrek replied, gazing into Jimmy's orbs.

"What if we don't find one we like?" Jimmy's eyes began welling with kawaii anime tears, but Shrek licked them away. He craved that mineral.

"Of course we will, my love, just you wait."

They smooched and entered the building.

The orphanage was sad. There were babbies crying and shitting all over the place. Jimmy was happy.

"SO MANY BABIES" he cooed. He picked up a particularly sticky-looking baby from the rusty nail pile in the corner. Shrek grunted because the baby looked tasty.

"Yee," cried Jimmy with tears.

The baby was blue and fuzzy, and had long hedgehog bristles on his head.

"GOTTA GO QUICKFAST" screeched the baby.

The baby was Sonic.

Sonicfast.

"Aww, Shrek, can we keep him?" Jimmy rubbed his face upon the childs. When he pulled away, smiling, there were skid marks all over his face.

"Of course, if that's what you want :* " Shrek grinned at the child, now his, and his wife. They were a family at last. Jimmy suddenly had another miscarriage. A family. Together. 3

Leaving the orphanage, the woman in charge ran after them, screeching about paperwork and some bullshit. Shrek ogre-rawred and she died.

All of the other orphans cheered, screaming "The bitch is dead, the bitch is dead!"

They needed a new leader, a place to call home.

Crawling down Shrek's ogre throat, they partied in his stomach.

They were a family now, them and Shrek.

They were home.


	3. Oh no D:

Every week a babe disappeared. Where they go?

"Honey," Jimmy spoke. "Where's Shrek Jr.?"

Shrek shat in reply.

Upon closer inspection, Jimmy noticed a leg poking out of the shart. Jimmy inhaled suddenly with a sound similar to a dying cheeto.

"ARE YOU EATING OUR CHILDREN?"

Shrek grinned and it was slimy. There were baby fingers between his teeth. "You stopped making dinner, m'dear. I need my fix."

Jimmy ran out of the swampy home, tears glistening on his cheeks. _Why me, why did I have to shack up with a... a MONSTER_

Suddenly, SHREK BARGED OUT OF THE HOUSE! He began chasing the boy, shouting and shitting and knocking trees over. It was terrifying. Jimmy ran as fast as his disproportional legs could carry him, which wasn't far. _I need to hide,_ he thought.

Jimmy found a tree, with limbs close enough together for him to climb. Once at the top, the leaves kept him out of sight from Shrek, who began stomping around the woods, yelling and shitting everywhere looking for him.

Jimmy watched him stomp away, off to the town, where hopefully the townspeople would put a spear through his soft pallet and into his twisted, awful mind. Jimmy wanted nothing more than to see him dead, the ogre who once gave him everything, who made him feel loved, who was currently chewing on their children, leaving a trail of their remains.

Jimmy wanted blood. He wanted the monster dead, to see his corpse, in pieces, destroyed for the worst kinds of creatures to feed on. He didn't deserve life, or love, or any of what Jimmy had sacrificed for him. He was shit, and he deserved to die.

Jimmy slept peacefully in the tree, dreaming of Shrek's head on a spear.


	4. The Beginning of the End, or Something

Jimmy awoke to hooves clacking through the woods. _Is it him?_

Springing from the tree, Jimmy landed on the things back, but it wasn't Shrek.

"Donkey?"

"Hey, whatchoo think yo doin'? My back is a SACRED PLACE!" Donkey proceeded to buck, throwing Jimmy off of his back. Landing in the dirt, the air in Jimmy's lung was expelled. Catching his breath, he sat up, watching Donkey pace back and forth, muttering to himself about respect and stupid white boys.

Donkey is Shrek's long time best friend. Now he's Jimmy's long time enemy.

Jimmy considered leaping at Donkey and strangling the life out of him, but Donkey has fought a dragon, had sex with a dragon, Jimmy couldn't defeat him in a game of strength. He had to think.

"BRAIN BLAST!"

The neurons in Jimmy's head exploded into a flurry of electric currents. Lights flashed, ideas flew through his mind at a rate faster even than his quickfast son, Sonic.

In a matter of seconds, Jimmy had thought through every possibility, every scenario, and every outcome. He had his plan.

Jimmy leapt onto Donkey's back, screaming into the animal's large ears. Donkey screamed back, bucking, trying to get the psychotic boy off of his back, but Jimmy clung on. He wrapped his legs around the small horse-like man-animal (a manimal, if you will) and pulled a knife from the back pocket of his tiny jeans. With the strength of his tiny legs, he clung to Donkey and shoved the knife up his asshole. However, what happened next was not a scenario that Jimmy had considered. The Donkey cried out in… arousal?

"Oh, Jimmy-chan, please!" Donkey wept in ecstasy. He couldn't handle it, the pain was just… so good. Never before had Donkey felt something such as this.

In anger and frustration, Jimmy removed the blade from Donkey's anal cavity, the creature sobbing in pleasurable plea's to please please him.

"Nope." Denial of his love was the worst punishment Jimmy could deal to the animal.

Donkey then spent the night bleeding out of his anus, unable, or unwilling, to stop the waves of pain and pleasure that came with every drop of blood absorbed into the ground.

The creatures of the night devoured his soulless body before the sun rose.


End file.
